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100WC - Week#11 - Demi

13/11/2014

2 Comments

 
I will remember how I felt when it was the war.
When the war happened I was very scared and worried.
I stayed in my room, because I wouldn’t go out.
My uncles friend died I wondered how he died I think he got shot. When that happened I was so sad, because he was my friend to. My uncle went into the war and he lost a leg so then he came home in a wheel chair. Now his wound is gone but he is still in a wheel chair. My dad died in the war it was sad.
2 Comments
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) link
15/11/2014 08:12:23 pm

Hello Demi,

War can be a time of great fear and loss for so many. I can see you were trying to share the feelings of those in war and at home. There can be great sadness and fear for all. Well done.

You have tried to take care with spelling and punctuation when writing your story although there were some errors you missed when editing. Again, well done. I find I have to reread my writing more than once to try to find the errors I make.

I hope you can keep entering the 100WC. It gives you the opportunity to share your ideas with the world.

Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

Reply
Mrs Patten NZ 100WC
16/11/2014 03:31:08 pm

Hello Demi
You have created an atmosphere of how wars affects people in so many way and how the scars remain for a long time.
Remember to read your writing through and check that punctuation and spelling are correct.
Keep up the 100WC writing.

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